mental health, Uncategorized

You are worthy and strong and beautiful!

I have multiple people in my circle who are struggling right now. And I know they aren’t alone in that. I know many many people are. So even though I am chest deep, and sinking fast, into the quicksand that is my thesis in this final hard push (my deadline is the end of the month) this is worth taking time for. This is a message I want you to hear. It is something I want you to work hard to internalize. Print it out, pin it next to your bed or beside your toilet where you will have to look at it multiple times a day:

You are worthy! You are strong! You are beautiful!

Want to know my stance on positivity? Fuck it!
I’m an optimistic person by nature, but being optimistic isn’t the same as being positive. Optimism still allows for all the feelings, and is okay with making space for each of them. Optimism says it’s okay to fall apart today because tomorrow will be better. Positivity says stop feeling bad, buck up buttercup. Positivity says you aren’t worthy if you aren’t feeling good, that you are failing if you feel sad or angry. And fuck that nonsense. You are worthy and good and amazing and deserving and that doesn’t change because shit is going wrong. You don’t have to be positive. It’s okay to make space to feel all the things. You are justified in feeling a shit ton of complicated feelings right now, because shit is ridiculously complicated… and not one bit of it is fair or okay.

And if it is your body making things more complicated for you right now? If it’s your physical health? Or maybe body dysphoria? Know that you are amazing and perfect and deserving and so totally and completely loved. You are not your body… but it is doing everything it can to be as good as it can for you. It’s okay to be angry at it, but it’s still a good and strong and incredible and beautiful body that is trying as hard as it can.

And if it’s your mind, your psyche making things more complicated? If it’s your mental health? Know that setbacks are NORMAL. If you are dealing with anxiety or depression or suicide ideation or self harming behaviours? Know that you don’t just get bopped with a magic wand and have everything instantly and permanently better. When shit is going on, we have setbacks. It’s normal, and it’s expected… and then we acknowledge where we messed up and we do better the next day. You got this. Brains can be weird, but yours is doing everything it knows how to do to try and make things as good as it can. It is trying so very hard.

One more thing: anyone who’s love for you is conditional on where you are at in your healing and recovery can get stuffed. Anyone who tells you to just stay positive can take a flying leap with that bullshit.

You are doing amazing!

There are times where just existing is AMAZING, and you are still here, you are still healing, you are still fighting, you are incredible, you are so very strong – even if you don’t feel it right now.

You are worthy! You are strong! You are beautiful!

Remember that!

You are so amazing, and our shared world is all the richer for your being in it. Thank you! Truly!

Meme featuring a photograph of a tiny cactus for sale. The caption reads “tell me a little about yourself”, and the image below it shows the sweet little green friend, alive and trying so hard to thrive, with a little sign stuck into its soil which reads “damaged but adorable”. Ki is worthy, and so are you.

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